RUDE Awakening

Life= Live, laugh, love

Lamo me hasn't really done any of that

My Life as of late has concisted of = complain, cry, judge

Why you may ask? Good question.....

I have this problem with time management. I procrastinate like it's a full time job. Well, I also have a load on my shoulders that should be split between 3 people. But (like my mom) I try to do it all. And normally I can. NORMALLY I am all gung hoe about the busy schedule... and not having friends... and never seeing anyone but my books, other school students, and family occationally. NOT caring that any guy has an interest in me, and LOVING the single life. I have had hours upon hours of girl talks about how we are so much better not being married right now and totally being fine with schooling, traveling, and partying (when the chance comes). But THIS girl is over that.
I have lately been wondering why on earth I am still single, in two dance companies, taking 20 credit hours, teaching, and trying to have a social life?!

Oh wait wait wait I can answer all of these.

No boyfriend? .... I'm in two dance companies, taking 20 credit hours, and teaching. Where on earth am I supposed to fit in a boyfriend. (I tried and... it bit me in the butt, punched me in the face, pushed me to the ground, and then kicked me a couple times while I was down there.) Oh ya and I have a really awkward personallity and I have no Idea how to interact with the opposite sex when I am attracted to them.... that small detail is kinda important too. baha.

In 2 dance companies?.... BECAUSE I LOVE DANCING!! (it keeps me alive, well except this week it's actually killing me and screwing up my body... haha it's show week for those 2 said dance companies... the end is in sight, sad but exciting, I NEED a break.)

taking 20 credit hours?..... I DON'T WANT TO BE IN A COMMUNITY COLLEGE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!

teaching? ... because those 3 and 4 year olds are so gosh darn cute and they make me laugh ALL THE TIME!! and it's really fun to watch them grasp dance concepts and REALLY ask "Miss Michelle, can we PLEASE do more chasses or step touches... I practiced!" hehehe music to my ears. Or "Ok what position am I in?" ... "First!!!" hehehe I love them. Even when they don't listen sometimes and run around screaming.

trying to have a social life?! ya this one is failing. I don't really have one I just put it on the list so that I could pretend like I was cool. But in reality I'm not... haha. i've accepted it.

Ok, so I have been thinking about how all I've really done lately is vent. and be confused and upset that life is really hard at the moment and i'm fed up with it, but... still have to push through it. Well previous said venting backfired on me.... I know for a fact that no one besides my family and a few close friends read my blog. It isn't exciting in anyway, it is just a place where I ramble on and on about how life is great or.. not so great at that  given moment. Well for SOME odd reason when I did write that post about me venting and getting crap off my back the said people mentioned in it read it... yup... that happend. Sooooo.... lets just say "just kidding" don't really apply here.... and now I'm even more stressed than I already was. But... and this is where the title comes in....

I had a RUDE awakening when I was put in my place. I realized that I don't have any control at the moment over any part of my life and that was my own fault. The only real thing I have control over is my attitude. Which has been rather poopy if you ask me. So this is my new goal. No matter the outcome of either of the mentioned boys, my grades in school, dance concert, lack of a social life, or stress caused by daily obsticles... I am going to force myself to look at the positive out come. There is one in every cituation and I have just been ok with not noticing it. But I'm not happy and I know I'm not fun to be around because all I want to talk about is how I'm not happy.

LAME-O!!!!!

So from this day on I WILL

-Look at the positive side
-Study and do homework before watching TV
-REALLY studying chemistry so that I can bring my grade up (This C is NOT staying)
-make a new friends and hang out with them
-smile at random strangers
-Read my scriptures more frequently
-Pray more
-Be an example for those around me
-Love hard outcomes that I know are for my own good.
-Be my happy Loving self again
-LIVE< LAUGH > LOVE!!!

oh
AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS!! :]